Marriage issue: Gisele Bündchen may think Tom Brady is ‘inconsistent’ as a partner — are you?
Gisele Bündchen may feel that star quarterback Tom Brady is “inconsistent” as a husband.
Bündchen seemingly broke her silence on social media for the first time ever since rumors began that both she and Brady had hired divorce attorneys, as Fox News Digital reported.
Bundchen “liked” a quote by author and life coach Jay Shetty and commented on it with the “praying hands” emoji — leading many to believe the quote in question resonated with her.
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The quote Shetty posted on October 11 — which was taken from his book “8 Rules of Love” — reads, “You can’t be in a committed relationship with someone who is inconsistent with you. Read that again.”
Most couples are not in high-profile celebrity relationships, of course, but are navigating their everyday lives. And that means navigating the ins and outs of marriage, too.
So how does inconsistency from one partner in a marriage affect the other and the marriage as a whole?
“Keeping a marriage together for most couples involves being consistent within the marriage regarding communication and emotional connection,” Haley Riddle, a licensed counselor who works in conjunction with a psychiatric practice in Houston, Texas, told Fox News Digital this week via email.
“It is important to have consistent communication, as this can promote trust, loyalty and resolve potential issues between partners,” she added.
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“You want to feel like your partner is your rock in a world that is constantly changing,” she also said. “Being inconsistent with communication can create conflict between partners and lead to feelings of invalidation or feeling unheard,” she also said.
“While we can’t know the specifics … we can surmise that this has to do with Tom’s decision to return to the NFL, rather than retire.”
“Being consistent with you and your partner’s emotional connection is important, as this can strengthen the bond and relationship quality,” she noted.
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A life transformation coach and author from Nevada also weighed in on Bundchen’s and Brady’s potential issue with inconsistency.
“It appears that Gisele feels Tom Brady is inconsistent with respect and admiration toward [her],” Chris Parsons, a life transformation coach in Las Vegas, told Fox News Digital in an email.
Parsons is also the author of, “It Starts with You: The Secret to a Passionate Marriage & Peaceful Home (Even if Your Spouse Doesn’t Want to Change).”
“While we can’t know the specifics of what they are going through, we can surmise that this has to do with Tom’s decision to return to the NFL, rather than retire,” he also said.
“In every marriage, not just those of celebrities, it’s vital to appreciate each other’s values,” Parsons continued.
“It seems that Tom and Gisele do not appreciate each other’s values, with Gisele valuing time together and Tom valuing his career,” said Parsons, making clear that he is evaluating from afar.
“You want to feel like your partner is your rock in a world that is constantly changing.”
“It’s not necessary that you and your spouse have the same values,” Parsons added.
“But if you and your spouse do not appreciate each other’s values, you will have a ‘deal-breaker,’ where there is no path forward.”
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One marriage and family therapist said that caretaking and creating a “baseline” helps with consistency in a marriage.
“Something that we can all do to keep a marriage together is to offer small acts of caretaking,” May Han, a marriage and family therapist licensed in Oregon, Washington and Illinois, told Fox News Digital.
“Acts such as making your loved one a cup of coffee in the morning or filling up the car for someone show that you are keeping their wants and needs at heart, and it communicates the signal that you care about them and want to make sure they are OK.”
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“Being inconsistent can hurt the marriage because it throws the idea of a baseline out of the window,” Han added.
“Consistency in marriage helps both parties establish a baseline to work from.”
“It’s OK to get angry, cry, lose one’s temper — but something must be learned from every fight. Sulking is what does harm, not fighting.”
“For example, [a baseline establishes] how to spend time together and when to have individual time,” she said.
“When we don’t know where the baseline is, we will need to pay a lot of attention to test and check for things constantly,” Han also said.
“It might also create unnecessary trust issues where one person might interpret an inconsistency as a sign of betrayal or lack of connection.”
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“Inconsistency is a huge trigger for many people often because of attachment issues during childhood,” psychologist David Helfand of Saint Johnsbury, Vermont, told Fox News Digital by email.
“If you grew up in a family where love felt conditional, then you are very likely to be triggered when your partner is on the fence about staying together,” he noted.
“This can also happen with major life decisions.”
“Imagine that your partner agrees to move across the country, retire from their work or have another baby — but then changes their mind,” he continued.
“If you have experienced a weak foundation of love early in life, then it is very possible that you will have a strong emotional reaction to this kind of behavior from a loved one.”
A therapist from London, England, said sulking is harmful for relationships, too.
“Arguments and fights are inevitable because after the blindness of falling in love passes, we start to notice things that annoy us, irritate us and even infuriate us,” Dr. Brian Kaplan, a doctor and therapist from London, England, told Fox News Digital in an email.
“It’s OK to get angry, cry, lose one’s temper — but something must be learned from every fight. Sulking is what does harm, not fighting,” he said.